100 Weddings and One Love Story
Not far from the Administrative Office of Udavum Karangal in Anna Nagar, Chennai, the cries of a newborn baby fill the air. The Founder of the Organization Mr. Vidyaakar picks up the baby already covered by ants. A long umbilical cord is still attached. People watch the drama from balconies. News for a day or two. But for the man who picked up the baby, it is a life- long commitment.
Sowmya’s is one of the many stories of girls who grew up in Udavum Karangal, where they were loved and nurtured, educated and settled in marriage.
Wedding Gallery 1
Wedding Gallery 2
Mr. Vidyaakar recently celebrated the 108th wedding in Udavum Karangal. He is a bachelor with 108 sons-in-law and about 200 grandchildren. He remembers every single child, their gifts and fears and their journey from an institution to the mainstream family life. Some were born to homeless mentally ill rape victims. Some babies were dumped in the garbage and Mr. Vidyaakar recalls the words of Mother Theresa, ‘some are born with the label “REJECTED” stamped on them’.
On the 14th.of May, Sindhu Vidyaakar got married to Kesavan Narayanan. Sindhu came to Udavum Karangal as a new- born baby. Like the other children here she was given a holistic upbringing. She enjoys a sense of belonging to a large family of grandmothers, siblings and aunts. Sindhu is a trained Special Educator while Kesavan has done BCom., MBA and is pursuing ICWA.
The contrast in how their stories began and where they are now sounds like the work of a Fairy Godfather. The links with the parent organization is not cut off after the marriage. Not only counseling continues to help the girls leave behind the past but as in traditional Indian family the daughter comes home for first delivery. She also visits with her whole family for festivals and other occasions.
There are stories of amazing transformation in the girls after marriage. Most of them are timid and scared to leave the safety and warmth of the institution and enter the unknown ‘normal’ family life and society. Will they be accepted, treated with love and respect? Successful marriages are a norm here because of the way the girls are brought up: a holistic life- style, their role in caring for children with disabilities or traumatic background and the Counseling they go through. They also have the unfailing support of their Pappa Vidyaakar. It is said that the greatest marriages are built on team- work.
Mala’s was the first marriage Mr. Vidyaakar arranged 26 years ago. The groom’s family did not want to accept her and created a ruckus during the wedding. Today Mala is the head of the family, looking after her mother- in- law and the whole family. She also has a well- paying job. Her son is a software engineer working in Wipro.
So many stories…..Praveena who married Shakthivel, a visually challenged man because having looked after children with disability, she was confident she could care for him. Shankari who was visually impaired married Raghunath who is hard of hearing. Everyone has someone, with a common cause to love and be loved.
The girls grow in confidence, get a job, care for the in- laws, they make that extra effort. In the case of Lakshmi , Mr. Vidyaakar himself had a doubt if she would be a match for the doctor who wanted to marry her. But the groom’s family convinced Mr. Vidyaakar that this was the girl they wanted. Today, Lakshmi is a perfect house- wife in a happy family and she has grown to match their level. She has two sons, one of whom models and acts in movies.
Why marriage? Is it a solution to all the problems? These days when a celebrity says, “ I believe in the institution of marriage”, it sounds very daring. Divorce or staying in a marriage for the sake of the children, opting to stay single and facing a sense of isolation and loneliness, the major issue of lack of communication skills- all this can make a Psychologist’s job lucrative.
For the girls of Udavum Karangal, marriage is a healing process. One can ask why can’t they have a fulfilling career instead. Mr. Vidyaakar says that the unwanted girl child, who never had a home becomes a home-maker through marriage. She finds a lasting companion and the emotional void in her is filled. As a mother she gives what she was denied. She enters the main- stream while still being part of the large family of Udavum Karangal. A Renaissance of traditional values!
What about Mr. Vidyaakar? Why didn’t he get married? He is busy living out his big love story for humanity.
